Children & Recovery

These most precious people in your life will need help from you and those they interact with daily.

Children appear to be resilient, but often behind the scenes, they are also affected and suffer the effects of trauma. Read on to learn strategies to help them through this recovery process.

“I have three children who were 7mths, 3years and 6 years old when we lost our home to fire. ”
— Snez

A child's ability to cope and recover is highly influenced by how you, as their parents and caregivers, family and friends deal with what has happened. As every individual exposed to trauma reacts differently, the same applies to children.

After a fire, a child's sense of security and safety can be compromised and getting back into regular routines can remove a lot of unnecessary stress. ​ It is essential to reduce as many disruptions in other areas of their lives, to allow them to feel protected, loved and safe. The best way to do this is to get back into basic routines as quickly as possible. Returning to a few simple, recognisable routines can set the environment for happier children. ​ You may need the support of family and friends to help ensure these consistent routines, as you may be distracted with relief and recovery. It is okay to hand this vital job to people that your children trust. It may be helpful to pop into a part of the routine, such as a kiss goodnight, to show them that you love them and are there for them. ​ Some simple routines to begin with are:

Helpful Tips to Explain to Children What Has Happened

Explaining to children what has happened in a language that they can understand and assimilate with their young minds is essential.
The Child Mind Institute has a document called "Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event". This document is a well-written, easy-to-understand document well worth reading, printing and keeping for reference.

Children Recover Well with Routines

After a fire, a child's sense of security and safety can be compromised and getting back into regular routines can remove a lot of unnecessary stress.

It is essential to reduce as many disruptions in other areas of their lives, to allow them to feel protected, loved and safe. The best way to do this is to get back into basic routines as quickly as possible. Returning to a few simple, recognisable routines can set the environment for happier children.

You may need the support of family and friends to help ensure these consistent routines, as you may be distracted with relief and recovery. It is okay to hand this important job to people that your children trust. It may be helpful to pop into a part of the routine, such as a kiss goodnight, to show them that you love them and are there for them.

Some simple routines to begin with are:

  • regular bed times and bed routines such as brushing teeth, bath and story time.

  • regular meals and meal times

  • returning to school, play dates and sporting activities

  • Basic chores such as putting away dishes and folding clothes

It is helpful to explain to children that changes to certain routines (such as family movie nights or sports training) are only temporarily disrupted and will return soon. With younger children, you may need to repeat this quite often.

The key to helping children transition in the initial, difficult stages after a fire is to communicate frequently in a language they understand.
Effectively caring for children can be challenging as a parent, with so much going on, but it is vital for their long term recovery.

Children's return to school

The Child Mind Institute has a document called "Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event"

This information covers some of the things teachers can do to help students. It would be helpful to pass it on when you consult with your child's teacher about their return to school.

Resume routine as much as possible. Children tend to function better when they know what to expect. In addition, returning to a school routine will help students feel that the troubling events have not taken control over every aspect of their daily lives.

  • Maintain expectations of students. It doesn't need to be 100%, but doing some homework and simple classroom tasks is very helpful.
  • Be aware of signs that a child may need extra help. Consult with the child's parents to get the professional support they may need to help them through difficult times. Children may also show distress as physical ailments, such as headaches, stomach aches, or extreme fatigue.
  • Help children understand more about what happened. Speak to parents about their particular circumstances and discussions to be guided at school.
  • Consider a memorial. Memorials are often helpful to commemorate people and things that were lost. School memorials should be kept brief and appropriate to the needs and age range of the general school community. For example, children under four may not have the attention span to join in. During funeral or memorial activities, a known caregiver, friend, or relative should be the child's companion.
  • Reassure children that school officials are making sure they are safe. Children's fears decrease when they know that trusted adults do what they can to take care of them.
  • Stay in touch with parents. Tell them about the school's programs and activities to be prepared for discussions that may continue at home.
  • Encourage parents to limit their children's exposure to news reports.
  • Take care of yourself. You may be so busy helping your students that you neglect yourself. Find ways for you and your colleagues to support one another.

Children's Health

Children and death

Grief is a reaction to significant life events; the death of a loved person is one of life's most painful experiences.

Children may regress, and their reactions and behaviour may become out of character. Three important things will help children learn to live with grief.

  • Access to the truth: knowing they can ask any question without fear of reprimand or of being ignored or patronised. Truthful answers in an age-appropriate manner help them retain trust in important adults in their lives and life in general.

  • Inclusion in the family activity around death. Depending on the family's religion and culture, being allowed to attend the funeral and inclusion in other rituals is essential. The age of the child may be a consideration in terms of disruption and level of understanding. Children who are old enough to attend should be told what to expect so they can be prepared.

Confident reassurance from a trusted adult that everything will be okay despite how they feel now. If the parent cannot do so, the child will benefit from having access to an understanding adult who makes them feel safe and secure.

Not all bereaved children need counselling. However, any concern over a child's behaviour following the death of someone close to them may mean appropriate professional help, advice, and reassurance will be helpful.

Children and Trauma

These resources advise on how to approach and help children after a traumatic event.

Child Mind Institute has a document called "Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event".

KidsHelpline - 1800 55 1800 - provides confidential anonymous counselling for young people aged five to 25.

The Australian Red Cross web site covers Helping Young People and Children Cope with Crisis and Talking to Children: parent's guide.

How to talk to children after the fire. Although this is a USA site, the principles can be applied anywhere.

Raising Children is a parenting website which covers:

  • You and your child in the weeks and months after a traumatic event

  • Reminders of the traumatic event

  • Supporting children of all ages after trauma

  • Trouble coping after a traumatic event: services offered (parenting hot line VIC: 132 289).

Headspace is contracted by Beyond Blue's Be You national mental health in education initiative and has a wide variety of help topics.

The Better Health Channel, a Victorian State Government website covers a wide range of age groups and Trauma and Children - tips for parents.

Trauma and Children this is the Victorian State Government health.vic website.

Childhood Trauma Reactions: A Guide for Teachers from Preschoolers to Year 12 : This is a handbook written by the Queensland Government. It can be referred to a child's school if help is required.

Children and Crisis A fact sheet from ACT Government Community Services.

Teenagers and Crisis A fact sheet from ACT Government Community Services.